Self preservation can be a real bitch. We are or have been trained to take offense or feel a need to defend at almost every corner. Hearing things that simply aren't meant the way we perceive them to be. We all do this based beliefs we acquired. Beliefs are a very funny thing and require an entirely separate post.
So, what could have led to another echo of the same resentments and fears simply did not echo. Calmer heads prevailed and for that you bet your ass I high five myself.
Communicating is tricky business especially when we think we inherently know what the other person is trying to say or convey. There is a hug difference between Feeling and Emotions.
EMOTIONS
They are physical and instinctive. They are hard-wired an their general purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus. They are measured by blood flow, brain activity, facial expressions and body stance. They are carried out by the limbic system which means they are illogical, irrational, and unreasonable because the limbic system is separate from - sitting literally behind - the neocortex, the part of the brain that deals with conscious thoughts, reasoning and decision making. The amygdala also plays a role by regulating the release of neurotransmitters essential for memory consolidation, which is why emotional memories can be so much stronger and longer-lasting. Emotions proceed feelings.
There is no clear list of universally recognized emotions. Fear. Grief. Love. Rage. Anger. Disgust. Happiness. Surprise. Aesthetic Experience. Anxiety. Compassion. Depression. Envy. Fright. Gratitude. Guilt. Hope. Jealousy. Love. Pride. Relief. Shame. Admiration. Adoration. Amusement. Awe. Awkwardness. Boredom. Calmness. Confusion. Contempt. Craving. Envy. Interest. Romance. Sexual Desire. Sympathy. Triumph are all parts of the map of emotions. Chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. It takes our brains 1/4 of a second to identify the trigger, and another 1/4 a second to produce the chemicals. The chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains, and they form a kind of feedback loop between the brain and the body that lasts for about 6 seconds.
Biochemical reactions in your body altering your physical state. Originally they helped our species to survive by producing quick reactions to threat, reward, and everything in between. They are coded in our genes and are generally universally similar across all humans and other species.
FEELINGS
Feelings on the other hand play out in our heads. They are mental associations and reactions to an emotion that are personal and acquired through experience. There are over 4,000 feelings listed in the English language. Emotions are universal but what kind of feeling it will then become varies enormously from person to person because they are shaped by individual temperament and experience.
As we begin to integrate the emotion and let it soak in we use "feel" for both physical and emotional sensation. You can feel cold both physically and emotionally. Feeling is something we sense.
Feeling originate in the neocortical regions of the brain, are mental associations and reactions to emotions and are subjective being influenced by personal experience, beliefs, and memories. Feelings are the mental portrayal of what is going on in your body when you have an emotion and is the byproduct of your brain perceiving and assigning meaning to the emotion.
Feelings are sparked by emotions and colored by thoughts, memories, and images that have become subconsciously linked with that particular emotion for you. Bit it works the other way around too. For example just thinking about something threatening can trigger an emotional fear response. While individual emotions are temporary, the feelings they evoke may persist and grow over a lifetime. Because emotions cause subconscious feelings which in turn initiate emotions and so on, your life can become a never-ending cycle of painful and confusing emotions which produce negative feelings which cause more negative emotions without you ever really knowing why.
Emotions are like a handout and Feelings are like a helping hand
As soon as I felt the need to defend myself I took a breath instead and waited 6 seconds before trying to even formulate a response or question. I continually remind myself that other's opinions are just that. Their opinions. And they are as entitled to them as I am of my own. We often forget that. When I talk about my feelings it is not because I am trying to sway you to my opinions. I am simply trying to convey how I feel whether you feel it is right or wrong is of little matter to me as my worth is not based on your opinions. Nor should yours be based on mine.
Remember that the emotions and feelings are not the same thing. The initial reaction is an emotion and if you argue or converse from there it will almost always end up a round table of hurt.
EMOTIONS
They are physical and instinctive. They are hard-wired an their general purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus. They are measured by blood flow, brain activity, facial expressions and body stance. They are carried out by the limbic system which means they are illogical, irrational, and unreasonable because the limbic system is separate from - sitting literally behind - the neocortex, the part of the brain that deals with conscious thoughts, reasoning and decision making. The amygdala also plays a role by regulating the release of neurotransmitters essential for memory consolidation, which is why emotional memories can be so much stronger and longer-lasting. Emotions proceed feelings.
There is no clear list of universally recognized emotions. Fear. Grief. Love. Rage. Anger. Disgust. Happiness. Surprise. Aesthetic Experience. Anxiety. Compassion. Depression. Envy. Fright. Gratitude. Guilt. Hope. Jealousy. Love. Pride. Relief. Shame. Admiration. Adoration. Amusement. Awe. Awkwardness. Boredom. Calmness. Confusion. Contempt. Craving. Envy. Interest. Romance. Sexual Desire. Sympathy. Triumph are all parts of the map of emotions. Chemicals released in response to our interpretation of a specific trigger. It takes our brains 1/4 of a second to identify the trigger, and another 1/4 a second to produce the chemicals. The chemicals are released throughout our bodies, not just in our brains, and they form a kind of feedback loop between the brain and the body that lasts for about 6 seconds.
Biochemical reactions in your body altering your physical state. Originally they helped our species to survive by producing quick reactions to threat, reward, and everything in between. They are coded in our genes and are generally universally similar across all humans and other species.
FEELINGS
Feelings on the other hand play out in our heads. They are mental associations and reactions to an emotion that are personal and acquired through experience. There are over 4,000 feelings listed in the English language. Emotions are universal but what kind of feeling it will then become varies enormously from person to person because they are shaped by individual temperament and experience.
As we begin to integrate the emotion and let it soak in we use "feel" for both physical and emotional sensation. You can feel cold both physically and emotionally. Feeling is something we sense.
Feeling originate in the neocortical regions of the brain, are mental associations and reactions to emotions and are subjective being influenced by personal experience, beliefs, and memories. Feelings are the mental portrayal of what is going on in your body when you have an emotion and is the byproduct of your brain perceiving and assigning meaning to the emotion.
Feelings are sparked by emotions and colored by thoughts, memories, and images that have become subconsciously linked with that particular emotion for you. Bit it works the other way around too. For example just thinking about something threatening can trigger an emotional fear response. While individual emotions are temporary, the feelings they evoke may persist and grow over a lifetime. Because emotions cause subconscious feelings which in turn initiate emotions and so on, your life can become a never-ending cycle of painful and confusing emotions which produce negative feelings which cause more negative emotions without you ever really knowing why.
Emotions are like a handout and Feelings are like a helping hand
As soon as I felt the need to defend myself I took a breath instead and waited 6 seconds before trying to even formulate a response or question. I continually remind myself that other's opinions are just that. Their opinions. And they are as entitled to them as I am of my own. We often forget that. When I talk about my feelings it is not because I am trying to sway you to my opinions. I am simply trying to convey how I feel whether you feel it is right or wrong is of little matter to me as my worth is not based on your opinions. Nor should yours be based on mine.
Remember that the emotions and feelings are not the same thing. The initial reaction is an emotion and if you argue or converse from there it will almost always end up a round table of hurt.
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