How you represent yourself and others says everything

It snowed. Big fluffy flakes of snow. It started late in to the night but that didn't stop everyone from waking up and going outside to experience it. It has been almost 27 years for me to experience snow like that. North Carolina was nothing but slush and black ice and Chattanooga just simply didn't deliver while I was there.
It was pure magic. The red cheeks, the wet clothes, the cold hands, the laughter and the snowball fights. My favorite part was when the children all went back in and it got quiet enough to hear the snow land. What a soft subtle sound. It is a night I won't soon forget.
It came at just the right time for me as well. The week and the months prior have been heavy on the feeling side of things. So much to process. So much felt or not felt. To the point that I staying further and further away from media and people. Isolating as I am apt to do, so I don't put my foot in my mouth.
I am learning that not everything needs to be said. In fact very little actually needs to be said. There was a quote I heard that went "when you try to solve the worlds problems, you only create more." I thought about it from many different perspectives and the one that stands out to me is you create more chaos when trying to solve other people's problems before your own. Yes there are things in the world that need to change and I'm not saying we shouldn't facilitate that change but it really does have to start from within you first.
To truly help others it takes more than just words. More than just attempting to teach something to someone, you must follow with an action. I can hear and read words from so many sources but I look to the actions of the person to decide if the words hold any truth. I can stand on a hill all day saying "love one another" but until I come down off that hill and actually show it as an action it is empty. Hollow. Fluff. People don't listen to the Dali Lama simply because he is wise but because he shows his heart through action, presence, and essence.

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When you start a business and you are trying to sell something what you are really doing is selling yourself. Meaning you are as much a part of the brand as the thing you are selling and who you are and how you show yourself will have an affect on what people believe to be true about your product based on you as a person. It truly can make or break you.
In truth this happens whether there is a business or not. Who you are as a person determines the validity of your words and whether people will listen or not to what you say. How you carry yourself. How you speak about others. How you treat those beneath and above you. Your tone. Your body language. So many little unspoken things that most don't even realize they are processing when talking with someone.

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I have bee in a bit of a feisty mood and perhaps a bit vile on the inside. I have since removed myself from the situations causing the distress for a time. I do not like to see needless suffering and yet I watch so many do it over and over to themselves. It's not for me to judge. I have to remind myself that they have their own lessons to learn but I do tend to get snippy when an outside influence is what is causing the disruption in others around me. 

Yesterday I tried many different techniques to let it all go. Some worked for a few minutes but that was all. I even went so far as to put on a fir tree wax melt last night, light candles and set up my Spotify on the Roku. It also did little to pull me out but at least the house smelled like fir trees and that made me smile.

I began to wonder if my chemical balances have changed. Much like it felt after giving birth. Not feeling like me, or the me I am used to. I do not like being moody but sometimes those emotions take over and refuse to be subdued. I sat in them. I felt them. I did my best to just allow them and let them pass. Upon waking up this morning I feel a bit better and will continue to as long as I stay away from the situation that is causing my angst.

This morning Gabe was talking about how sonic the hedgehog is dimensional while Sanic is flat. I explained the difference between 2 dimensional and 3 dimensional. He quipped "My boobs are 2d and yours are 3d." I laughed at the simplicity and his application of the statement. On the car ride to school we talked about when water get's really cold it freezes but when it gets really hot it evaporates. He was fascinated with this and excitedly said "You taught me something new!" We both like when that happens. I think it's why he likes our talks so much. I try to work in new concepts and information when we do it. He also stated that I should have presents under the tree like him and Izabel, and Isaac. I told him I didn't need any because they are the best presents I ever got and that my favorite gifts are hugs, kisses, smiles, and laughter.

Haiku
A hollow body
In depleted surrender
Lying motionless

THAT TIME WHEN.....

• I wondered outside to run an errand and couldn't find my car for about 10 minutes. All the while it was parked right in front of the apartment. 
• I scoured the house for my pajama top at 1 in the morning and ended up leaving my hoodie on and crashing out only to find out the next morning that I was wearing the pajama top the whole time.

SOUNDTRACK

• Silent Monks singing Hallelujah
• Oh Yeah - Yello
• La Habanera - Yello
• Whispers - Passengers (Bing Lounge)
• Simon Smith and his Amazing Dancing Bear - The Muppet Show
• Brainstew - Green Day
• Christmas Time is Killing Us - Family Guy
• Night of the Wolf - Nox Arcana
• Friday Night - Lily Allen
• Shame For You - Lily Allen
• Glory Box - Portishead
• Beach House - Spacehog
• Never Gonna Happen - Lily Allen

LIKES

• Complete List of Songs Phoebe Buffay from Friends
• Joey's date with his stalker Erica (Friends)
• Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land
• Paint on a speaker - The SloMo Guys
• WORDS: Superfluous. Extremity. Aphrodisiac. Gregacious (A combination of gregarious and gracious). Literally. Satisfication (Satisfaction meets gratification. It is the ultimate form of pleasure).  Wisened (past tense of wisen). Equilibrium. Foible. 

SNAPSHOTS

Random Thoughts:

Consciousness, is it because of us? or regardless of us?... The true test of humanity is how humane we treat each other... Biophotons... Human soul and free will are not materialistic methods but metaphysical qualities of consciousness... Nipple Pinch Genocide... Stardust... Moonbeams... Occurred Thought... The heart of a house is the kitchen, the vents are the lungs, Plumbing is the digestive track... Skin suit personalities... raspberry glazed sunsets... I have texture, a wild heart, a fervid spark... The principle of gravity changes depending on the mass of the object... 

A bitter pill to swallow
A pratfall and obstruction
In let down I do wallow
Daily worth reduction