Washing Machines are a Godsend

I once again have a washing machine. Nothing will make you appreciate doing laundry in your house more than not having a washing machine. Over the span of the last three days I have washed every sheet, clothes, blanket, pillow case, and towel. It is glorious! It's amazing how much just that one thing changed the overall feel of the house. It smells like dryer sheets now and there are not piles of clothes laying on the floor in varying stages of needs washed next. I even put every last thing away and for anyone that knows me understands that of all jobs and duties it ranks as the one I do not like to do. I love to clean, wash, tidy, and especially vacuum but man O man I hate putting clothes away. I think that stems from it's not just putting mine away but everyone elses. Yes I could just make tidy piles and tell the others to do it themselves and sometimes I do but I am also one of those people who feel like if you aren't going to do it the right way then I need to do it.

I do realize this is my own form of control. If you want something done right then best to do it yourself. Lately I have relaxed to the point of let them do it their way and just fix it once it is bothering me. Growing up my fathers solution was to go about the common areas of the house and anything that was not put up properly made it to a giant pile in the middle of the floor. If we hurried and still put things back in the wrong places the pile started all over. I have been tempted to employ this technique but I know it would mostly get walked over until I could no longer take it and put it away. The thing is they are all old enough (aside from Gabe) to not need me be that kind of mother.

I am the kind of person that realizes people do exactly what they want. I can ask for help. I can ask for them to do things and they will gladly get up and do it but waiting for them to initiate will leave me waiting a life time. This was always Dads complaint as well. "If  you see me raking the yard, don't ask to help, just help" The complaint is when it comes to things that are chores. Feel like chores. Like keeping the house clean. I enjoy cleaning but I also enjoy other people not treating it like a waste bin. I enjoy when others respect my work enough to help maintain what I have done. Not leave half filled cups, dirty clothes, empty plates, and garbage laying around.

I have enough garbage cans placed about that at no point should a wrapper or more lay on a table or desk when the can is in equal reaching distance. It's the little things. This is one of my 'ticks'. One of the things that make me feel invisible or as if I don't matter. I'm not looking for praise for keeping things tidy but I am looking for respect not to trash it up.

I used to run a tighter ship. I used to employ other tactics but found it left me feeling like the ring master having to make everyone perform. I reset my priorities. I don't relax well when I look around and see a million tiny things that need doing. It used to be so bad that I couldn't fall asleep at night if I knew the kitchen chair was not pushed in all the way. I have come along way from just how anal I used to be about things like leaving closets open, lights on in rooms you aren't using, blankets folded the right way to lay on the back of the couch, couch pillows and cushions placed appropriately, etc. The list goes on and on.

I also know that my level of control in those things was directly related to the lack of control I had on my own life and emotions. Because I felt like I had no control when it came to my health and therefore life, I controlled everything else. I have come a very long way and no longer try to control it all. It is like anything really. I found I spent so much time controlling every aspect that I had no time for living or rather enjoying my life, which is no way to live at all.